4/1/2024 0 Comments What does ruse meanTo be sure, not every instance of “just kidding” should raise our hackles. She has learned that if she doesn’t go along with the joke, she’ll lose membership in her group. If you fight back against a mean joke, you’re likely to hear retorts like, “What’s your problem? Can’t you take a joke? I was just kidding! You’re taking it the wrong way,” and so on. Adults often ask me why it’s not enough to respond, “That’s not funny!” Partly because there is a social script kids use in situations like this. They allow you to say something mean and still appear to be a likable Good Girl. The phrases seem fairly innocuous, cute little jabs that aren’t supposed to leave a mark. That’s because “just kidding,” and its cousin, “no offense,” are phrases girls (and guys, though less frequently) use to hurt each other without having to own up. “When girls say ‘just kidding,’ what percentage of the time are they really joking?” It’s one of my favorite questions to ask girls, and I rarely hear numbers in double digits.
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